Sufferings/Happiness

This is a little snip from my journal...i thought I would share with you all.


So today was another big day in regards to the fact that God has seen fit to continue with blessing Suzanne and I. Suzanne has not been at her job for a month and got quite a raise today. It is amazing that she even got this job. 60+ people applied for it and they narrowed it down to two. The other person that they narrowed it down to was someone that had filled in for the position before and they loved this girl. Suz got this job and it defies all logic. We (and many others) have been praying about Suz getting this job for some time….awesome!

It is weird being in a time of blessing. Should I feel a certain way? When I look back on this time from a time of sadness will I think that I should have been happier? I am not really sure how to even begin to answer this…

I am happy, but is this going to be the time in my life where I will back and say that I have never been as blessed as in this time period? Either way I am grateful that God seems so near to me right now. Not because I am something special or because I am in such a “good” place spiritually. But just because seminary and TNL are really challenging me to think and contemplate God on a daily basis. It is not that God hasn’t always been on my mind since He saved me, but this is different, I am much more impressed with how much He cares and how much He wants us to share His goodness.

I was so moved by a verse in Philippians that was shared last night at church. Paul said in Philippians 3:10 “I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow to attain the resurrection from the dead.”

Amazing…this is not what people generally say when they consider what they want from God. I would be telling a bold face lie if I said I was living in a way that I am looking to share in Christ’s sufferings at this point, but that is where I want to get.

I don't want to live in a way which is annoying but to live in such a way that the righteousness of Christ shows through me so much that others persecute me for looking like Christ did. Christ came and lived such a righteous life that they killed Him for it. So many times this is not the gospel people are signing up to share or even to believe in and follow. Paul made it clear it is what he wanted...I hope it is what i am striving towards as well.

Tim